Me. Up Close and Personal. Here you go. I may not be at my absolute personal best, but I am feeling damned close. Also, I am now in a size 6 blazer AND slacks. BOOOOYA! If that doesn’t make someone want to quit drinking, I don’t know what will. Here are some more reasons to stop drinking, which also may help you identify if there is something else mental laying in there deeper, like me. Then, the real work begins.
I can now say no to people. Gracefully at that!
I can turn down romantic advances even though someone likes me, because I trust my gut and don’t rely on others to make me feel good about myself. Though I like attention, I don’t need it.
I don’t have to give anyone anything.
I choose how I spend every moment and with whom I spend it.
I choose who I speak to.
I can now take compliments.
I keep my head up and my eyes direct when someone looks at me.
I am listening more.
I am learning how to identify when I judge others, judge myself, think too heavy into the past or into the future, and I am able to redirect my focus with a few techniques I have picked up for BPD.
I have learned that maybe love is an intellectual decision– An intellectual decision by making a commitment to consistently make sure another person’s needs are always met to the best of your ability. I did not do this. I did not think this way. I am thinking this way now.
I have found that my heart is huge and my skin is thin.
I am more patient than I have ever been.
I don’t like being alone, but I am finding ways to cope. I can color in adult coloring books, and drink virgin pina coladas all while watching Southern Charm Savannah, and remember every annoyingly awesome detail.
I am living.
I am happi… er.
Three weeks until I uproot my world and start anew. I know that I will put Houston behind me because I have to. My heart still aches for X. I know that I really do love him. Part of me feels as if I myself am The Little Mermaid. I have spent my time hoping Prince Eric will want to marry me. Now is crunch time. In three weeks, he will kiss the girl or not, but either way she is swimming to Denver, and let the chips fall where they must.
Love and Peace from this Corporate Hippie,